The Dos and Don'ts of Rattlesnake Relocation

Pumpkin tried to attack a rattlesnake last night. Grammy heard him barking frantically then observed him trying to bite a small animal. She promptly pulled Pumpkin off his prey, an adolescent rattlesnake. The snake was pissed off. We watched him carefully as he rattled his tail next to Pumpkin's dog house. There were two sensible options. 1. Kill him. 2. Leave him alone. Kill him was out. We also didn't want to leave him in Pumpkin's enclosure because we knew Pumpkin would be all over him in the morning.

Luckily, we had been drinking wine, which helped us come up with a more creative plan. This is what I learned from my experience last night.

DON'T wear old, baggy jeans for snake removal when your bum could potentially be in all the photographs.

DO put on bee gloves and boots for a false sense of security.
DON'T assume you can lightly nudge a snake and it will crawl into a recycling bin. The snake will quickly crawl under the bin toward your feet.

DO sneak up behind the snake and flick it into the recycling bin.

DON'T drop the bin as you attempt to stand it up. It will make everyone watching you jumpy.

DO make sure your toddler has a healthy fear of rattlesnakes (but don't freak him out too much, snakes are cool).

DO drag the recycling bin as far away as possible from your house.

DON'T do it when the neighbors are watching.

DO let the neighbors know that you have a squirrel in the recycling bin if anyone asks.

DO relax and enjoy another glass of wine knowing that you worked hard to relocate a snake, and put yourself in danger, but the snake will likely be back in the dog's enclosure by morning.